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To cry or not to cry ?
by illustrated_girl @ 2008-04-30 - 13:42:13

That is the question !?

This newborn baby thing is almost a first time experience for me ... Alex was an exception to the rule and because he was poorly and was in hospital and had an operation etc we had to treat him differently to how you would a normal baby.

The operation he had was on his stomach and part of the aftercare was not letting him really cry for 6 weeks in case he developed a hernia ... so leaving Elinor to cry for even 30 seconds seems really alien to me.

My mum assures me that me and my sisters were left for hours at a time (checked on every 15 minutes) in the pram in the garden or in our cribs and we are all fine ... but it just seems so strange to even leave her for a minute.

But if she is clean and dry ... and snuggly warm ... and fed ... and winded ... and isn't settling whilst I'm cuddling her ... is there any point in me cuddling her ?! And does 10 minutes crying really do little ones any harm ?

Hmmmmmmmm

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murphymolemurphymole [Member]
2008-04-30 @ 13:50

I don't think it hurts them to cry a little and it does vary from child to child (2 of mine I let cry as that was their way of getting off to sleep 2 I did'nt cos they would get hysterical)
You must go with your gut feeling, put them done leave a couple of mins and then do what feels best for you.

Good luck

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illustrated_girlillustrated_girl pro
2008-04-30 @ 14:55

I used the hoover today ... I let her cry for 10 mins and she didnt settle ... I tried to offer the breast but she didn't want it ... she cried a bit more and didnt settle ... so I turned the hoover on ! Cheating I know ... but it worked :))

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murphymolemurphymole [Member]
2008-04-30 @ 15:14

A good soother I found the hoover.

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murphymolemurphymole [Member]
2008-04-30 @ 15:14

A good soother I found the hoover.

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murphymolemurphymole [Member]
2008-04-30 @ 15:14

A good soother I found the hoover.

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miramazemiramaze [Member]
2008-04-30 @ 14:54

I think the thing to remember is that each child is unique, as you too are unique.

There's crying and there's crying. Go with your instinct.

Having said that, my rational mind also added " ah but there is stimulus and response ". If you cuddle as soon as child cries are you then also teaching " if I cry I get cuddled,,, or not ?" ;)

Nahhhh I'd still go with cuddles. You can never have too many .

X x

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illustrated_girlillustrated_girl pro
2008-04-30 @ 14:58

I like cuddling too but alex get's ever so jealous ...

And I defintely agree with not picking them up as soon as they cry ! Alex has learnt some bad ole behaviour from that which we are trying to unteach !!!!

We will get there ... x

Right now I want a nap but am awaiting the arrival of the health visitor :( grrrrrrrrr !

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sminchinsminchin pro
2008-04-30 @ 15:36

We followed the Gina Ford 'Contented Little Baby' idea where she follows a strict routine and the baby is left to cry for certain amounts of time so they teach themself to go to sleep. It sounds barbaric but when you're sleep-deprived and desperate to regain your sanity it's a god-send. We followed the routine with both of our boys and they're fantastic sleepers, much better than many other kids of the same age.
Gina Ford and her methods are rather love/hate but I love 'em!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Contented-Little-Baby-Book/dp/0091912695/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209566093&sr=8-1
Good luck :)

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BillOddyBillOddy [Member]
2008-04-30 @ 23:05

ooh getting them to sleep when they're younger - it's an art form. My eldest would fall a sleep like a dream, I could sneak her up stairs and put her in her cot, but try and leave... WAAAHHHHHH!!! The worst was when she learnt to say a her first words, then she'd stand/sit by the cot bars wailing away shouting "Daddy... daddy... daddy". I needed a very strong OH to tell me not to crumble. It didn't last long and she soon became an awsome sleeper and still is 6+ years on.

Ms illustrated, get the book, get structured and Elinor will love you for it... x

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illustrated_girlillustrated_girl pro
2008-05-02 @ 20:05

I do have every book under the sun from 18 months of trying to get Alex to sleep ...

I have the contented little baby book ... Dr Ferbers Book ... The no cry sleep solution ... and a couple of others ...

However ... it still takes us between 20 minutes and an hour to get him to go to sleep ... he still sleeps in our bed ... and he never puts himself to sleep !

I'm hoping Elinor will be a little easier ! And we are working towards a routine with her and dont let her sleep on us !

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